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There are many issues, voices, demons that I wrestle with internally.
Things that I cannot always explain or speak of to others.
Things that I am ashamed of.
Things that I said I would never do I’ve done and things I never said I’d be, I am.
There are very few people that I feel that I can trust with the deeper things in my life and all of the people that I have or would entrust these thoughts to are either dead, moved away, or were never available for me.
I find myself confused a lot in life.
Questioning things. Everything.
The more I read, the worse it gets. So then, I stop because the more information I take in the less I want to deal with reality.
What I do with this stuff, that I feel powerless to change.
I guess, ignorance is bliss. It is not cool to not understand, but the more you understand the less happy you will be.
I have been struggling with different concepts: race, beauty, and love.
My mind just wanders.
Part of me wants to do nothing and part of me wants to take action.
Bring awareness. Write a book. Start of movement.
Tell a story untold. A new perspective.
There’s no telling what I will do with these scattered thoughts.
Sometimes I feel like I hold myself back.
I dont know man.
I just need some prayers thrown up for me in the universe.
Just need someone else to intercede for me for a while.
Lawrence, I miss you bro.
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